Air-born

Hello little birdie. What a cute little thing you are! Why, you are just a baby! What are you doing here in my backyard?

Huh? What? Oh! You are one big creature…

Aww. Did I scare you? Oh you poor little baby! Come here to mummy! You look cold!

No I… Hey! Hey hey HEY! Put me down! Puuut me down! What are yo…

Just look at you, adorable little bird! You are so dirty! Let me clean you up. A little rubbing should do the trick!

I am not dirty! Please put me d… OUCH! Hey that hurts! Stop it, stop rubbing my back! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?

Now, isn’t that better? Oh poor little birdie looks sick. Are you sick?

YOU are making me sick! Now put me down so my real mummy can find me. Okay, why are you raising me higher?

FLLLLLY~ fly to your nest, little cutie pie~! Your mummy must be worried. She will be able to take care of you. Now now, it is not good to run away from home.

Firstly, I can’t run. Birds don’t run. Secondly, I can’t fly, my mummy has not taught me yet. Lastly, please put me… Oh you are lowering me, are you finally putting me down? No, you are not putting me down! No wait! I know what you are doing! ARE YOU TRYING TO TOSS ME INTO THE SKY!? NO! STOP! STOP YOU MAD WOMAN! STOP!

My oh my, just look at how excited you are. You really want to be in the sky, aren’t you? Heeeeere we go~

Oh. My. Go… AAAAAAAAH!

FLY my tiny little cutie! FLY!

Okay, now don’t panic. She tossed me realllly hard and now I am very high up in the air. Means I have more time before I go splat on the ground. Don’t panic. Don’t panic… alright I am panicking. HELLP! MUMMY! HELP! PLEASE HELP!!!

Not working. Imagonnadie! Stillyoung! It is now or never, little birdie! Now or death! I saw how my mummy do it. Can’t be that hard! Okay, spread wings. Balance tail feathers. Baaaalance… Flap. Flap. FLAP! Okay, good. Now left. Right. Left. Right. Left.

{This is how i am feeling. Oh, if you're wondering, the birdie survived.}

View

There was this picture I always saw. I thought I saw everything there is to it. I was wrong. It was only a small fraction of it that was visible but thought that was all there was to it.
Today I realized I was wrong. The whole picture was made visible and my eyes struggled to take in all the details and colors. I tried to find the fraction of area that was familiar to my eyes. It was minute as compared to the full size. It will take sometime before I could take in all the details but it has sure opened up my mind.
It leads me to wonder, is this the full size or is it just another fraction to a even larger picture?
One step at a time my boy, one step at a time.

Sound: Cling!

It is pretty amazing.
When you are down on your knees;
When your emotions overwhelms;
Once the cry of desperation is let out:
O Lord.
He will hear you.
Even the maker of the stars,
He will hear the sound of your breaking heart.

Yes.

I used to think being in love with God and doing his stuff is like taking a walk in the park. What I did not know was that the park was filled with thorns, pot holes, mountains, fiery rings to jump through. Things really are different when you decided to drop everything and go serious on God. I still remember when I took things half heartedly, where I serve two masters: One in heaven and one called ‘the flesh’. The result was not satisfying. There were actually no results.

As I grew older and learn to depend on Him, my eyes began to see things more clearly. There was one particular lesson that I learnt the hard way:
Without him, I am nothing.
And it’s true. I’m powerless and nothing can be done without His help. Whenever I sway away, things couldn’t be done. At least it doesn’t yield tip top results. I am still learning, learning to depend entirely on His biceps than to use my weak and puny ones.

I used to go to God with my hands full of problems and rants and needs and wants and complains and… But with hands filled, I wasn’t able to receive. I didn’t even give. So, I tried a different approach, I went empty handed.

That night I’ve made my decision. I said,
“Hey, I know I’ve been giving you my heart but snatching it back again many many times. Tonight I know You know I’m serious. I have still many sharp edges that need smoothening but I am willing. A instrument. A vessel. Whatever, just use me.

“You sure?”

“…Yes.”

“Here comes the tests and trials.”

Don’t get me wrong. It is not all pain and suffering. There are sweet times too. He in His own special ways still show that He cares. Like some old saying that says, ‘Through thick and thin, I will stay with you ah!’ He is like that. I could never had made it this far on my own.

I have learnt, it is not easy at all.
The old me would probably give up and start going on a rampage.
I am different for You have done great works in me.

Chapter 0.5, Comet

A comet fell from the sky. As it pummeled from the heavens, it split the clouds apart. The impact, as it hits the ground in a velocity so great, it pushed aside everything it came in contact with, which means the earth; the trees; the buildings all went flying. It dug on the surface of the earth for more than fifty kilometers before coming to a halt. By then, the damage done was already massive. It dropped and skit itself through the heart of London. Many lights were extinguished that day.

My legs gave way and my hands lost its grip on the handle as I watch the amount of light fade away. Tears came streaming down my face as I held it in my hands. I let out a cry of despair and sorrow. There was no sound. The whole event happened right infront of my eyes in silent motion. Even the explosions and screams were silent. I looked around, many were covering their ears. Silent?

More lights were dimming out as time passes. My heart ached further and my soul tore deeper as each light went out. The lights, they represented one living soul on earth.

sidenotes

Have you ever come across a time when a mere and simple sentence that appeared normal to others affected you in a giant scale? I bet there was. It is actually a very common occurrence from time to time. Some changed the person's life a hundred and eighty degrees while some pushes a person's being deep into the ground. Some made people cry tears of joy while some made people cave in.

In my case, this particular sentence gave me mixed feelings. Among the feelings, one stood out from the rest like a looming tower: Foolishness.

Not foolishness as in it made me feel retarded. It means that it made me realize how foolish i was. It made me realize that whatever i expressed and done long ago wasnt strong enough. Strong enough to even make a dent.

And you, when and how did a mere and simple sentence that appeared normal to others affected you in a giant scale? Lets share.